Social Anxiety

This is one of two paintings I was assigned to do for my final in my Painting II class. We were asked to paint representations of a personal ritual, and while many individuals chose more traditional themes (preparing for the day, sleep and dreams, etc.), I went a little.. er, off the beaten path. The description behind this image is under the copyright info, if you wish to know my intentions behind the various imagery.

Yuck, what a huge mess of a painting! In the final critique, the teacher said that it does not quite flow compositionally, and I completely agree, along with its sense of being unfinished. I personally feel 'done' with it, so I do not think it will be rendered any more than it is now - this whole theme I have here could be done over in various paintings for years and still not say what I want it to in the most clear and efficient manner. : ) This is definitely something that could rather be explored over a long span of time.

Second painting (Social Introspection): [link]

Acrylics (some areas like the dragons painted with gel retarder as well), 18 x 24 canvas.

Art by S.Dziezyk/LeccathuFurvicael 2011. Do not redistribute, copy, alter, etc., any portion of this image without permission from me, the artist.

------------------------ Artist's Definition ----------------------------

I chose the ritual of engaging in social experiences/with others and the self-doubt and analysis that I partake of either during the process or after the process of being in public spaces with the potential for interaction with those who find me interesting. This painting in particular works with aspect of the 'social field', where the other explores the 'inner field' instead.

The social environment is depicted more as a throng of ghostly bodies here as that is how public spaces often feel to me - a lot of random individuals milling about, and to my eyes, as fleeting and inconsequential as vapor. Some individuals, though, are more tangible, indicating those whom I interact with, though have no true connection to.

As such, the blue figure (physical self) is holding out a literal 'heart on one's sleeve', and the exposed ribcage is also indicative of my naivety and willingness to be open with people I don't really know, and the hands are all in reach of potential harm of my core (heart).

The shadowy dragon form revealing itself behind the blue figure is representative of my cynicism, self-doubt, fear of being hurt, and introversion (which isn't really 'bad', but is in want of not being in such a social situation where it is draining to sustain long periods of interaction).

The other dragons are my closer friends, whom I have depicted as such not only due to their own preferences but because they are part of my 'inner world' so to speak, and as dragons are a large part of my identity and inner psyche, they are therefore part of that inner world as well.